Solacetree

You Need What You Get

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You Need What You Get

First of all, read my September 3rd post called “Taz”.  It’s important for you to see her picture before reading this.

OK, you read it, right?
Here’s what happened this weekend.

We had to put Taz down one week ago Saturday.  Bud and I were grieving over this inevitable prospect, but couldn’t bring ourselves to act on it, so Bud said, “Let the vet decide.” This way it wouldn’t be “our fault”. If you’ve had to put a pet down you loved, you know what I mean.

I took Taz by myself, because Bud had to work.  Sure enough, our vet who is a personal friend said “It’s time, Joy.  The kindest thing to do is put her out of her misery.”  So I called Bud and told him to come, knowing it would be at least 30 minutes before he arrived.

That whole time I was on the floor holding Taz, talking to her gently, telling her how much we loved her. She relaxed in my arms, sometimes turning her head to look at me with those large, trusting eyes.

When Bud arrived, we placed her on the table, holding her and praying for her as our friend gave her the shot.  He embraced us and cried, a truly compassionate man.  Then we wrapped Taz up and took her home.  All five of our four-legged family members are buried in our yard and have had funerals.  We would no more leave them with a vet for “disposal” than we would any human loved one.

This Saturday we were at a wonderful Christian conference, but I started sobbing and couldn’t stop.
Bud and a close friend held me to no avail.  Finally I went outside alone and pleaded with God, “Please take care of her.  I’m her Mama and I hurt so bad.”  Over and over again.  It was all I could pray.  I felt my compassionate Daddy God holding me, but it didn’t help.

Then a miracle happened.

When I went back into the church, I sat down and noticed a beautiful picture on the wall of Mary cradling baby Jesus in her arms.  Except I didn’t see baby Jesus.  I saw Taz. She was looking up with trusting eyes into the face of Mama God who held her just like I had in the vet’s office. And I heard Mama God speak into my heart, “Taz knows I’m not you, but she’s at peace receiving a Mama’s love.”

Suddenly I was sad, but at peace.  I needed what I got, and then and only then was I able to receive from God the comfort I wanted for myself.  I already knew God has both female and male attributes, but that had never mattered until it became personal.  In Genesis 1:26-27, God says, “Let Us make
human beings in our own image, to be like us….male and female he created them” Genesis 1:26-27  (NLT).

Jesus stood overlooking Jerusalem and said with pain in his heart, “How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings” Luke 13:34 (NLT).

And as I stared at a sacred picture of Mama God holding my beloved dog, I heard Her say to me, “I’m comforting her, Joy, and she is at peace.  Now let me comfort you.”

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About the Author:

I never have found a box that fits me, so I follow Jesus into the wild. My husband, Bud, and I are two life-long hippies, parents of four grown children, and live in Bartlett, TN, with six cats, two dogs, and no TV. I am a voracious reader and am passionate about prison ministry. I am also an advocate for middle-aged and senior women, and anyone who suffers from depression.

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